22 Year Old Male Seeking Ego Death at 2pm on a Tuesday

I have this feeling inside me as if I’m missing something key
Like I’m reaching out into openness for something
Yet it’s just too dark to see
I can’t put my tongue on the words I need
To say how I feel
And I’m just stuck here rambling, waiting for the big reveal

I know that there’s an undercurrent of desperation in the way I think and hope
I went to find life in my words but more often than not I choke
My mind still just wanders off into that forever never-ending
And I still can’t tell exactly to who’s will I am bending

This chaos is far too quiet for me
Silent screaming in the words
I won’t ever get to see
Some violent cacophony of anxiety
Still asking me what is it I am missing
Reaching out
Seeking out
Forgetting about
What it is I am thinking about

I can see it in the distance
Amongst the dark and fog
The twisting web of gears
Pins
And
Cogs
It’s like an eyesight test I’m still just a bit too blind to see
And I know that I want to be better
But I’m just waiting for my head to finally agree