Under the Skin

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(no more)

Under my skin
You fell so deep
Lips like honey
Against my skin your kisses seep
Dripping like rain
On tear soaked diary pages
Leave it all to me
Running off as the storm rages
Left to find solace in empty memories
Recalling what you’ve remember a thousand times before
It’s time you realized that what you picture
Isn’t there anymore
You make your way under my skin
And I yearn for those sugar soaked eyes
And warm embraces made of gin
I want to remember
What I want you to think of me
But what’s in my head – the dreams that I see
There’s nothing there that is based in reality
Nothing that we can reach to, from under the skin
Anything that we can make flesh
Anything we can begin

Rubble (Left in October)

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I once knew you
But don’t remind me
Like the rubble of the car wreck
That still sits close to me
And the oxygenated air
That still makes me dizzy
I don’t want to think about what doesn’t make me forget
An orange atmosphere with nothing left
And voices in the background to remind me of my debt
My mind is just full of wind
And I’m trying to fixate on the howl
If only I could go back to that empty ditch
And that shattered glass
Fall onto the dirt
Just close my eyes and focus on the smell of the gas
I once knew you
But don’t remind me
I just want to remember the burning
Of that dripping gasoline on dry fall leaves
The way I stammered your name
Speaking of the only thing that I believed
Winter cannot come sooner
For I am in love with the gray skies
And empty cold air
It makes me feel like I belong here
For three months at a time
When I felt like I wasn’t even here
For nearly two years
I once knew you
But don’t remind me
Just give me those thoughts of the icy metal bed
And my ripped clothing
The bandages on my head
I am in love with the bruises
That fell across my chest
And I adored the pains
That made it hard on my breath
Show me the aches and my old stiff limbs
Remind me of the dreams I never had
Tell me that I am something different now
Than I was before
Remind me that the winter world would give way to the warmest love I ever knew
But please don’t remind me
That I once knew you

Disposable Camera

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There’s a camera in the back of my closet
On top the faded photographs and written notes
Boxes covered with layers of dust
All of the letters that we sent back and forth
Remnants of what never was –
Echoes of those ghosts
Images burning away in my mind
Like they did in the grass
Fading in the air like the rising smoke
From the incense that we liked
The scent of it all
Still fills my room
And I’m doing my best not to associate the smell with you
And the songs that we sang
Still remain the same
But the words that echo throughout my head
Continue to change

 

I made an effort
To forget what sits alone
Ever waiting for me to look back
And reminisce about the forgotten bones
Of something I should’ve buried long ago
Do they understand that they have no use anymore?
As the days fall past I forget what I even had them for
Feelings change and regrets grow
I’m sure you and I both can still feel the sting
Of when we both learned what we now know
I don’t even care anymore –
It’s been so long ago
I don’t need to remember yesterday
All that matters to me is watching the dying flame
The falling wick of the candles –
The torn pages of words
Every promise that was made and every lie that I heard
The smoke will still rise
From that burning effigy of what once had been –
what is now no more.
The only piece left
Is that disposable camera on the floor
Undeveloped photos
Memories that I will never have to see
Ghosts that will never rise
Regrets that will never come to be
What’s left on the film means absolutely nothing to me
So just like us – disposable and not worth much at all –
It too can be lost to the smoke
Rising through the air, carried by the breeze
So I can forget
That I really did believe