Texas

I get tired of this Texan supremacy
Just because we have barbeque and ultra sweet tea
It doesn’t matter where you go
From Reunion Tower to Glen Rose
Big Tex
And armadillos
Not even the blue bonnets can’t stop me being blue
I hate Texas
Everything is bigger, that means the depression is too
Drive for 500 miles and you’re nowhere new
The Lone Star State just makes me think of you
Get me the hell out of Texas

Jaret Reddick can write a pretty good song
But Bowling for Soup got it all wrong
Even they can’t make someone come back to
This dumpster fire they call Texas
635 North is my mortal enemy
Trying to find parking in Deep Ellum makes me want to commit a felony
Whataburger isn’t even that good
God, this isn’t where I want to spend my days
You couldn’t convince me that Shipley’s deserves its praise
I hate Texas
It doesn’t matter what I do
What suburb I come home too
From Austin to DFW
All it does is remind me of you
Just piss off, Texas

I hate the conservative politics
From old oil money to the Kaufman county sticks
Only in Texas
Could you live next door too
Millionaires who want to take your rights from you
Who you vote in because they’re not blue
And you still won’t blame when you get screwed
Good ol’ red Texas
The only legal weed you’ll find around
Is our dickweed governor
What a clown
You can’t buy liquor on Sundays
There’s constant highway construction delays
But at least you can have your assault rifle on you always
I’m done with Texas
It doesn’t matter what I do
How many McConaughey movies I go through
From Oak Lawn to Greenville Avenue
In the crowds I still see you
Get bent, Texas

The Alamo isn’t even that cool
They forgot to build the basement
What a bunch of fools
Our land is stolen from Mexico
As if we had nowhere else to go
All our billboards tell you to either buy beer or to repent
We’re cool with teaching our kids about abstinence but not consent
Davy Crockett couldn’t save Texas
There’s nowhere else to go
The days are so slow
All the friends I ever knew
Either left or I outgrew
This state only makes me think of you
And it’s so goddamn sad
Because it’s been years
I hate Texas
And you
Don’t
Even
Live
Here